SEARCHING FOR PURPOSE
(Confessions of a highly sensitive person)
by Maria-Cristina Ghita
Even thaw I had more than 90% of this book’s content already written in my journals, transposing all that personal content into a book was not an easy task at all.
There were times when I just hated myself, judging myself for actions or thoughts that I saw now as mistakes. I felt angry for being stupid. I felt ashamed of my thoughts. Until I decided to see myself as another person. I was always harsh on myself but never with others. I love people and I feel deep empathy and compassion for them. I always did my best to be non-judgmental and selfless. And writing this book taught me self-compassion and empathy. Forced me to look at myself with non-judgmental eyes and learn to love all the versions of my old self too.
And then I started to see this 17-year-old girl writing her first journal entries, trying to figure things out, asking herself existential questions. And the young woman jumping from one mistake to another with all her best intentions.
I saw this young sensitive yet strong woman being hungry for true love, fighting desperate to find her purpose, to find a meaning in her meaningless life.
I saw her fighting trough adversity and risking everything for the things that she believed in.
You can see this this young woman evolve in each journal entry. All the struggle is real. The decisions come in an instance but the change takes time, the real change is a fight with your old habits that want to hold you back. And you fall and get up, and fall again, and get back because you know that the winner is the one that gets back one time more than the times he fell, so she always gets back.
Some things are hard to read. Because are too personal. Because they are not covered in nice words but is the raw, uncensored reality of the inner talk of a person that feels everything deeply. Of a mind that cannot stop thinking, a mind hungry for answers.
Although everything in this book is real and written to be useful for other highly sensitive people struggling out there, if you can’t read this book with an open heart, this book might not be for you.
